Friday, December 30, 2016

Cheesy

A cheesy day
Filled with understanding
Knowing
And newness
As we get ready to say goodbye

668

Thursday, December 29, 2016

River and Ocean

Where river meets ocean
My heart catches the last
Of a quiet breeze
Meant to pass
Undisturbed
Undisturbing
Still
My heart knows
Better
As it flies away

667

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Purple and Red

Each had a little
Taste of dark chocolate
That lingered
Some sleepy
Some excited
All a little purple

666

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Fences

Build yourself in
Build another out
Either way,
You're separated by
Nothing more than wood, metal, and sadness

665

Monday, December 26, 2016

These Moments

Nothing could be more
Perfect
Whole
Present
Than this
Here and now

If only I could put it in a bottle
And have it for all time
To relive
To resing
To rejoice

664

Sunday, December 25, 2016

Such miraculous adventures

On a cold evening
A few miracles
She themselves through
Culinary adventures

663

Here right

Here we are,
All together
Like how I love
Us being together
Here, there
It doesn't really matter
As long as we know
We're together

662

Friday, December 23, 2016

Eve

On the verge of a break
Much excitement
Spread arms
To take that
Deep breath

661

Different

Deep down,
Are we really all that different
Differently abled
Differently positioned
Differently brought up
Differently similar

660

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

New Devices

Along comes something new
Exciting
Ripe with future
Smelling fresh
Feeling crisp

Until it gets old.

659

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Peppermint

Monday afternoons lead
to peppermint-filled
Tuesday nights

658

Monday, December 19, 2016

Reunions

When you are united
with little parts of your heart
you think you've left in various places
you've lived in,
grown in,
Learned from,
and you think your heart couldn't possibly
be more full,
or grow any bigger,
or have more room in it,
It surprises you.

657

Sunday, December 18, 2016

Holiday Gatherings

Kind gentle hearts
Are all around

It's opening your heart
To let them in

That's the tricky part
Open to love

So much to say thanks for
As we gather, share, laugh, and cheer

Our common stories
And the paths we took on our own

655 & 656

Friday, December 16, 2016

What's next?

So much to think about
So much happening at once
And such little that's really really
Worth anything

654

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Almost There

I can almost see it
Touch it even
Hang in there
I tell myself
For the 100th time
Hang in there
Almost there

653

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Change

Sometimes you need to change
How you're looking at the same world
Through different eyes

652

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Another View

A little pumpkin
She called you
And so you are indeed
Small, little, and as pumpkiny as you can be

651

Monday, December 12, 2016

Where's That Button?

I wish I knew
I wish I could find it
So I could push it
And feel
All of this stress disappear

Do you know where?
Do you have it?
Have you seen this button?

650

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Don't End

The sun rose so softly this morning
hardly noticeable
lazing
in those heavy low clouds
It cajoled
patting, soothing

My morning lulled into a cozy
afternoon
Moments to just be
Is it so terrible
That I don't want it to end?

649

Saturday, December 10, 2016

So What?

I hear you laughing
detached
separate
putting those compartments to good use
I know you may think,
So what?
It was a long time ago
Get over it

But this heart remembers
and won't forget easily
how long it has taken
To put itself back together

648

Yesterday's Mirror

Looking into can be a hard
as looking back

You just never know
what you find staring back

A reminder of has beens
or promises of could be's

You just never know
but that's not reason enough to close your eyes

647

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Little Joys

No,
Not everything's perfect
It never has been
Perfection doesn't hide
Behind little moments of joy
Perfection
is
little
moments
of
joy

646

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Movimientos

In a world so warped
How do little miracles happen
How do we keep tomorrow breathing
It's in little movements
That I hold hope

645

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Friends

Never forget
The value of having people
Who care about
And love you...
Friends.

644

Monday, December 5, 2016

Longing

As I make it through
Another day
I long for all those
Yesterdays
That held so much unknown
Yet left me whole
Longing for that sense of knowing
Even in emptiness

643

Sunday, December 4, 2016

Departure

Like every beauty
This one too
Had its ending
I miss the hereness
Of knowing she is here

642

Saturday, December 3, 2016

Arrival

When time transcends meaning
And the bounds of our fingers
It'll be time for new beginnings
To marry endings

641

Friday, December 2, 2016

I see you

See through
That's what you are
All the way through you
You are your own
But still mine

640

Almost there

Who will you be?
What will you be called
So you will be one
And your own
All at once?

639

The next day

When you're surrounded by goodness
It's difficult to stay sad
Pick up those pieces
Walk tall and away

638

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

A most unfortunate series of events

Not the best thing
To find
A giant hole
In the spot that used to be
Your car window
At the end of a long,
Exhausting day.

637

Monday, November 28, 2016

The Switch

I didn't find it
But I found way around it
And got it all to look different
Without the rose-colored glasses

636

Sunday, November 27, 2016

You're Here

Not always easy
Not always charming
Thank you though,
You're always
Here

635

Rough

It will,
I know it will get better
Today, though
I am at the bottom of a very steep hill

634

Friday, November 25, 2016

Big, Bigger,

And so it goes
All that was once small
Is eternally now bigger
But only till it is small again

633

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Torn

Grateful for a moment to breathe
to catch my moment
before it escapes my helpless hold

Grateful for freedoms
that let me be
torment-laden or not
as I please

Grateful for this, that, and Tomorrow
as I watch you grow
Grateful for what is
And whatever may come to be

Aching though
for the graves we stand on
in order to celebrate
to feast

632

Almost there

631 days gone by
And each has been its own
Unique bundle of newness
What does tomorrow hold?
I wonder what 632 will bring

631

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Terrible

Hopefully
Tomorrow will be better
That the terrible, no good, hopeless day
That was today.

630

Monday, November 21, 2016

Full Cups

When old hearts meet
colliding in new homes
tailoring memories that are ours...
This heart and all my cups,
are full.

Full of love,
of knowing...
That my life is interconnected.
Intersections that weave,
through pasts and
futures we can only dream of.

Creating tomorrow through...
Questions,
fears,
anger,
hope.
Above all,
Love.

629

Sunday, November 20, 2016

And more to come

As the word spreads...
So do my little wings
Heading to happy places
With you

628

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Over this hill

It's more of a question
Than a statement
Ridden with pauses
Too deliberate to not notice
And too tiring to stifle
Am I?
Am I over this hill yet?

627

Friday, November 18, 2016

Many Yous

When there are many yous
What do you with them
Which one do you listen to
How do you who is real

What of they turn against you?

626

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

So silly!

Dear Dan,

We're so silly, huh?  At least we're silly together! Will you remember this day, when I sniffed your beer and we were the kinky chipmunks who lost so badly at the regal beagle?

Thanks for being silly with me!

Tumharee, hamesha,
Suparna

624

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Don't Burn

Don't burn, she says
How to not, I wonder
You left me doused in kerosene
And lit the last match

623

Monday, November 14, 2016

Healing

Maybe now we can
Move on to new and better
Places together

622

Sunday, November 13, 2016

Hand holding

Sick of holding your hand
Guiding you through
The guilt of your privilege
And misogyny
Next time,
Pick up your own weight
My hands are full already

621

Roller-coaster

When you have the chance to use your voice
Take it
For many it's nor a choice
When you get pushed the edge
And you can walk away
Remember to count your privilege

620

Friday, November 11, 2016

Glad you did

Dear Dan,

When we were talking today about all the reasons went you told me you loved me when and how you did, we could've talked for ages. We could've discussed nuances. We could've debated specifics
But I want you to know, overlooking all of that, I am so glad you told me.

I love you,
Suparna

619

Thursday, November 10, 2016

On and on and on he goes

Lifehouse warned me
To stay wary of
Fairy tales
And
Castles made of sand

Yet all I want to do
For just one moment
Is to escape into them

618

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Grief

Something died last night
Something big
It didn't die quietly
But it didn't put up
Much of a fight

There were other casualties too
That I mourn
From last night

617

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Good night, America

Putting democracy to sleep
Tonight
I learned is difficult
You have to stare it in the eye
And see every demon
Glare back
Through your skin

Tomorrow,
When you wake up-

The sun will still rise
Though curtains of fear
Shroud entirely

You'll still park your car where you did today,  and yesterday
Though you will have many tears to dry
From your sometimes silent
Sometimes loud crying
When no one was watching
And yet everyone saw

As humanity wept
As hearts broke
As marriages and bonds were declared illegal and unholy
As parents were walled away from their children
As people were persecuted based on the color of their skin or the body they were born into

Life will go on.
For some though
It slowly died tonight

Only hope
Lives

616

Monday, November 7, 2016

Last Night

On the verge
Of this very last eve
Before things change
And we get to tell this story
As triumph, relief,
Or tragedy

615

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Saturday, November 5, 2016

Back to your past

Dear Dan,

Thank you for showing me a glimpse of your past by taking me Back to the Future again! Such funny coincidences and ironies in there! I love being a part of you, your past, your now, and hopefully our Tomorrow.

Tumharee,
Suparna

613

Friday, November 4, 2016

I like you

Dear Dan,

I love writing love letters to you. I want to tell you, I've felt it for years. I even tell you almost everyday. But, I want to write it to you today: I like you. I really, really like you.

Love you,
S

612

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Monado

I see now
Hope you can become so easily lost
In this other world
And the feeling of being
Everywhere
And
Nowhere

611

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Small Fractions of Everyday

Today will be yet another day
Weary
reflections
tell me how to feel
Not entirely sure if I should
believe
the lies they hide under obvious
truths
A mere visitor
a tourist through the attraction of my
life
maybe Tomorrow will be another?

610

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

You are my gift

My dear Dan,

I often think of days like today.  Days on which you showed up, were beyond present, and held down the fort with your anchoring. You are my gift. The best gift a human being could receive. You are my love.

I love you, and I love the gift of you,
Suparna

609

Monday, October 31, 2016

No shining glow

Right now
Is difficult to appreciate
A miracle
It's there
Under layers of unease
Cushioned in beats
That feel foreign to me

608

Sunday, October 30, 2016

I know you're trying

I know you mean well
You mean to make it better
"Tell me what you want to hear,"
Is the last thing I want to hear

607

Yesterday's Today

Did it happen
Or was it a dream
That forgot to begin?

606

Friday, October 28, 2016

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

A little change

Today,
Was a little different
Than the breath of
The last few days
Fresher
Less painful
Free

603

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

A Relief

I welcome even the slightest
whiff
of full breath
with relief

602

Monday, October 24, 2016

Just over the hill

I know you're right there
Just over this bend
And around that curve
Your elusive glimpses
Don't leave me with doubt
I know you're there
Waiting patiently
For me to come around

601

Sunday, October 23, 2016

A First Time For Everything

Dear Tomorrow,

I hope your days brim with promises of firsts and the wisdom of been-theres.

I dream of mountains that will build you up and will fight for rivers to quench your goals.

I distress over extinct moments that have left no room for change.

I know a lot is not right now. And tomorrow, however wrong it may be, ought to be here already.

There's a struggle, I know you will see, one I hope you will not live. A struggle that upheaves into calloused hands and falls weary into broken arms.

There's much to wish for you. There's much to hope for the world that will be yours someday.

For now, I hope my first will be for a better you.

Lovingly,
Suparna

600

Saturday, October 22, 2016

9 courses

It's a pure delight
And such incredible
Privilege
To sit among friends,
Well wishers
Who care
And want to celebrate
With 9
Delectable
Courses

599

Friday, October 21, 2016

Can I do it?

It's moments like these
I really doubt myself
Every speck of me feels out

598

Thursday, October 20, 2016

I can do it!

It rises
Slow enough
For me to dread
It's oncoming

But not as fast
As I'd like it to

These days my mind gushes with memories of tomorrow
And hopes of yesterday
I long for this to be over
Yet to savor every second
Knowing there is a specialness
To all the pain

597

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Back

And it's back
With full vengeance
Upon my insides

596

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

The Light

A little glimmer of hope
Shone through
Such tepid curtains
Of darkness

595

Monday, October 17, 2016

Unintended disappointment

Not meant to
But it happened
The first of probably many
That will sting, burn, and cling
With sadness
Even
If
Unintended

594

Sunday, October 16, 2016

Saturday, October 15, 2016

Miracles

Small breaths
Transform
Drops of timelessness
Into big miracles
Beyond our reach

592

Worries

There are always going to be reasons
To lose sleep
To indulge a wreckless train of thought
Fueling the motions of worried nights
Anxious days
And there's only one sensible reason to stop:
You.

591

Thursday, October 13, 2016

What a day

Dear Dan,

Thank you for being there and loving me like you love blueberries.

Love you,
Suparna

590

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Will you remember?

This was the day
That it erupted
And all broke lose
To give way to
Openness
And honesty
Will you remember?

589

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Monday, October 10, 2016

First Days

Nerves too passed me by
Till there was just plain old joy
Untarnished and free

587

Sunday, October 9, 2016

How did we get into this mess?

What have we come to
That has allowed a bigot
To make it to this point?
Has our world got nothing left fighting for?

586

Saturday, October 8, 2016

Can I do this?

I ask myself everyday
If I'm ready for what lies ahead
Sometimes though
Life doesn't wait for your response
And goes ahead
With its own strong-willed plan anyway
So,
I am left with the choice to crumble
Or rise

585

Friday, October 7, 2016

The last ginger squash bottle

The last ginger squash bottle
Was put on hold for me
Though just a simple sugar concentrate
Of ginger and lemon extracts,
And capsicum color it may be
It signifies much -

A momentary craving
Leading to extensive research
Rechecking ingredients
Calling shops
And finding
The last ginger squash bottle

Privilege wrapped on a moment's notice
Being with family who
Support, love, and care
Stability to afford a craving
The luxury of time and ability for
The last ginger squash bottle

584

Thursday, October 6, 2016

What a day

Being able to sit
And watch waves go by
That's my type of today

583

Don't Give Up

Sia told us today
To
Not give up
No, no, no
Remember,
To not ever give up

582

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Slow it down

Is it too much to ask
To slow all of this down
So we can take in every
Single waking moment
And capture every single
Sleeping breath
And one day,
Tell you all about it

581

Monday, October 3, 2016

A Better World

Surely there is one
A better world for us all
Maybe just hiding

580

Sunday, October 2, 2016

A N(e)ice Request

There are times when
My heart smiles
And mind soars
With love and kindness
Children brighten this world

579

Saturday, October 1, 2016

Moms

I feel lucky
To have two to call mine
There to hug and hold
Through rain and shine

They are mine
And I love them so
Always there for me
Through any high or low

My moms are my anchors
Grateful to have two
To my mommies, I say
I love you!

578

Friday, September 30, 2016

Celebrate

Newness begins
Like the rays of
The first sun
Cutting through a
Sleepy sky
This newness is not alone
It brings with it
Careless joy
Tarnished
From leftovers of hurt endings
What will this newness hold?

577

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Competency

Am I competent
for all that lies ahead and
all that I want?
Am I ready?
Equipped?
Have all the tools
I will need
for tomorrow?

576

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Letters to Tomorrow ~ And The Words Go On

Dear Tomorrow,

As the words soar, escaping their fearful sky binds, hearts flutter in joy and celebration.

Lovingly,
Suparna

575

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Letters to Tomorrow ~ Confirmation

Dear Tomorrow,

We now know that this is it. This is now.

Lovingly,
Suparna

574

Monday, September 26, 2016

Letters to Tomorrow ~ Free

Dear Tomorrow,

Today was a day of freedom. Of luxury and of gratitude for the privilege of knowing I can be me. I hope you too will get to experience that someday, every day. Later today evening, we watched the presidential debate and I kept thinking who would set the tone for this country when you and your peers will be here? I sure hope us voters don't let you down.

Love,
Suparna

573

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Letters to Tomorrow ~ This Is it

Dear Tomorrow,

Today, when we look back at this day, we will remember it fondly as knowing and fully realizing, this is it.

With all my love,
Suparna

572

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Taking Flight

And off she goes!

Gravity defying

Nose up

Into a cloudless sky

That becomes overcast

With her courage

571

Friday, September 23, 2016

Here We Go!

The time has come
To start fresh
And make every moment count

570

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Hold this head high

My gaze falls
Deep below mountains of nothing
I seem to have forgotten
That piles of sand too
Come crashing down
Eventually,
That gaze will rise
And my shoulders will stand tall
And
My head high

569

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Now What?

This leads to that
That brings us back to this
Now that this is here
Then what?

568

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

All done

My body is now
Just now
Finally
Listening to my heart
And my exhausted mind
And it's ready to say
I'm
All
Done

567

Forgotten

When you forget to
Take a moment to breathe in
You know it's not good

566

Sunday, September 18, 2016

A bonus

When your bonus is getting punk-rock trivia from the mechanic, escaping on a misty morning getaway, and getting hugs from your sister, you know it's going to be a good day!

565

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Letters to Tomorrow ~ Building Bricks Bravely

Dear Tomorrow,

One day we'll go to some of these places that we can tell you some of these stories,  to remind you that we, too, have a lot of growing up to do, a lot of obstacles to cross, and a lot of personal goals to triumph. Even if the goal is to ride on a roller-coaster.

Lovingly,
Suparna

564

Friday, September 16, 2016

Relief

Let that body fall
In a sigh loud enough
To shatter drums
That feed silences
Perpetuating harms
That deepen to bones
Through the raw flesh
Of shredded hope

563

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Heart Racing

Body dancing
moving
grooving
Legs jumping
squatting
kicking
Heart racing
pumping
Breathing

562

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

These voices

These voices
inside
won't quiet down
they think they confide
left me confused
unsure of myself
These voices
inside
left me unwell

561

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Next Time...

My new friend shared yesterday
Advice from a wise
Bag of tea
Instead of,
"If only,"
Try,
"Next time."

So,

Next time,
I will be stronger
I will say, "No, thank you"
A bit louder
I will worry less
And trust myself more
I will stand up when needed
And trust my voice
That I know.
Next time,
I will have learned more
And will be standing taller
From this fall

560

Monday, September 12, 2016

Changing

I felt something change
Did you feel it too, or just me
Hearts beating as one

559

Sunday, September 11, 2016

All in a day

Dear Dan,

I will remember today fondly. Readiness is something I don't take lightly, and I know you don't either. I'm so excited for Tomorrow. Are you?

Ek din aagaya,
Suparna

558

Saturn

How small do you feel?
When you spot Saturn
From the ground below your feet
And with the help of 3 mirrors?

557

Friday, September 9, 2016

Alone

Even the voice in my head
is now alone
All by itself
crying itself hoarse
No one is listening
no one hears
all those tears falling
to the silence of their own songs

556

Thursday, September 8, 2016

No One

No one,
Not a single person
Has the right to bring you down
Not one
Even when life gets so heavy
It pulls you down
It weighs on you
Let yourself be in the center
Of those who uplift
Not bring you down

555

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

A Single Rose or A Little Water

Dear Dan,

Sometimes, we keep looking. We look through every garden, every ocean, and travel around the world looking for answers to questions we never asked.

And sometimes, the answer is right there.

Love,
Suparna

554

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Small Steps

Every small step counts
when the path ahead is too long to grasp
in a single stride

553

Monday, September 5, 2016

Every good moment

When good moments pass
Onto a fine and new day
Be strong and bid bye

552

This Moment, Today

Mama's
Beach
Parking karma
Body boarding
Beer
Laughs
Extraordinary
This moment
Here
Now

551

Saturday, September 3, 2016

Time

And here we all go
Streaming through nowhere out here
Where time and space meet

550

Here Together

We're here together
And it's gotten better
With time, age, and unmet expectations
That have collided
Creating something new,
Something different
Something worth caring for
Something worth preserving
So as we cast shadows
On the breezy sidewalk
We etch our memories
With all we are
Because,
We're here together

549

Thursday, September 1, 2016

Children

There's a certain magic
That comes with young ones
As their smiles sparkle
And their toes twinkle
Fairy dust becomes unnecessary
With their quiet laughter
Shining through their eyes
The world is whole
And fragmented all at once
But in their treasured little hands
Rests our tomorrow

548

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Not Enough

Hold it today,
The idea that you are not enough
For something
For somewhere
One day,
You'll look back at this place
This moment
This day,
And smile.

It is the day that you were more than enough.

547

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Torn

When you hold the little shreds of your dream
Your hands tire
They reek of dead hope
And lifeless choices
Made void through errors

546

Monday, August 29, 2016

Determined

When you know who you are
where you're coming from
and what you're headed towards
There's little that will stop you
There's little to hold you back

545

Dreams

You hand me my broken dream
And I picked up every piece

Don't worry though,
I have glue.

544

Saturday, August 27, 2016

Looks

I see you looking at me
I see the look in your eyes
While you look at mine
Do you see how I want to be seen?

543

Friday, August 26, 2016

Recovery

When shock settles
I know you will be
Waiting on the other side

542

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Sending Love

when the universe strikes
with all its magnificent glory
and wrath
sometimes,
the best thing to do
is smile back
and send lots of love,
especially to those who have forgotten
to love themselves

541

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Another Adventure Begins

Like that start of a new journey
I have my essentials in hand

I have my passport safely stowed-
Joy, open-mindedness, and life-long learning.

Tickets have been purchased-
Skills I have worked hard to hone.

Maps guide my pathways, twists, and turns-
Expectations and a passionate team to grow with.

Some planned adventures
Many unplanned moments shall also arise.

And for each, I will bring my heart
and hope that my heart has some room too.



540

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Letters to Tomorrow ~ Tomorrow is Here

Dear Tomorrow,

When you find your tomorrow,
What will it feel like?

Where will it lead you,
And will you follow?

More soon. Lovingly,
Suparna

539

Monday, August 22, 2016

Letters to Tomorrow ~ Your Tomorrow


Dear Tomorrow,

When you find your tomorrow,
What will it feel like?

More soon. Lovingly,
Suparna

538

Sunday, August 21, 2016

When you least expect it

Dear Dan,

I know you thought I would turn back after getting into the water and shrieking how cold the water was. I also know that you thought I would become easily tired of negotiating with the waves. But when you least expect it...

...I can still surprise you!

I love you,
Suparna

537

Saturday, August 20, 2016

मेरा पति सबसे अच्छा है

Dan,

When you try to speak to me in Hindi, it really makes me very happy! I feel seen and a big part of my identity feels valued. I know how much effort you put in and how much hard work you have put in all these years. Thank you. I will always be in awe of how you dedicate yourself to learning something and I will work hard to support you in preserving in this.

Tumharee, hamesha,
Suparna

536

Friday, August 19, 2016

Tired and Soaring

My heart is overjoyed
My body tells a different story
Does it matter which one is right?

535

A new beginning

There is a moment everyday
when I pause and reflect
about where I am,
how I got here
and just how amazing
this chance is...
To start a new beginning

534

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Comfort Food

Dear Dan,

Our first dal-chawal adventure in our new home! I loved all of it, including our chats through it and getting to know more about each other even after all these years.

I love you,
Suparna

533

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

The woman and the moon

There she is
standing on her head

Every deep breath counts
she reminds herself

Feet reach for the stars
head remains grounded

Yet

Her heart is the one that soars
high across a sky she still doesn't know

That introduction will happen some day
for now though, she inhales moon rays

The ground receives her
without judgement, without fury

She lets herself fall to the earth
with grace, with acceptance

There she is.
Do you see her?

The earth invites her, envelopes her
while she exhales all that holds her back

532

Monday, August 15, 2016

Whose Independence?

Is this a celebration of
our freedom from dependence
or
our dependence on servitude?
 
Who is free?
The I, you, they, or we?
 
Or all of us - 
are we free from misery?

Maybe for you,
this is a day to be thankful, to feel blessed.
Or perhaps it's a day to mourn, to commemorate, to celebrate.
 
Or it is a day to know. To learn. To feel. And to understand - 
our very dependence
on independence.
 
My independence is a little tiny treasure
that is a privilege,
far beyond that
which was won by plenty of renowned enigmatic men,
and a few forgotten women. 
 
My independence was won. 
My independence was born...
is being birthed.
Everyday.
It is a fight and a celebration and a quest to know.
The burden of which lies not on the shoulders of unnamed revolutionaries,
but in my own tiny hands held tall by 9 and 3/4 fingers
 
How did you celebrate your independence today?
 
 
 
531

Sunday, August 14, 2016

A New Language

Like a freshly fallen summer leaf
that doesn't crumble yet to my touch
I learn a new language
of fallen leaves
and learn to hold them in just the right ways
so they feel supported,
comforted,
and loved 



530

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Boogie Boarding

Dear Dan,

Today will forever be the day that we tried something new. A few bruises here and there, but they shall go away too!

So excited to grow in our new skill together!

Love you,
Suparna

529

Friday, August 12, 2016

Heartku

Here on this plate lies
A beating pulsating piece
Of my little heart

528

Thursday, August 11, 2016

The gift of more time

The last of a generation leaves us
To hold on to truths and a legacy we live
We have so much
Yet so little
In the face of diminishing moments
Only time has come from our pasts
And will live to tell the future
Stories we may not hear

527

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Patience is Petulant

Patience comes in many packages
But a package of patience is hard to come by
When anxiety brims
And doubts loom close
I ask patience to be patient
With me

526

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Being Here

Today,
being here
and now
was more important
than being stuck on yesterday
and being thirsty for tomorrow

525

Monday, August 8, 2016

True Colors

A little bit of blue
In me, I found is true
But blue is not what I feel
As I play today's reel
Showing me glimpses of me
That I liked to see
Blue in how I react to censure
Or work under pressure
It was clear to all
That I can fall
But to rise is strength
And it's what I meant
When I wrote initially
That there's a bit of blue in me

524

Sunday, August 7, 2016

Serendipity

Of all the beaches
in all the cities
in all the oceans
in all the planets
in all the moments,
it takes a special serendipity
to be walking in water and hearing,
"Oh, hi Suparna!"

523

When Words Wear

Some days your words
come through like bullets
tearing through a quiet night
ricocheting in ways only sharp words can
knowingly cutting through my heart
You turn the page of your book.
I don't.

522

Friday, August 5, 2016

New Bonds, Old Ties

Pani-puri contests
on sweltering summer nights
of summer days that rose
in uncertain silences
as we awkwardly refamiliarized ourselves
with what we'd known for years
Those same summer days set
under mosquito nets and
gratitude for a nighttime breeze
on those cool summer nights
Dancing and enacting songs
feeling brave crossing busy streets
to see Nani-Daddy
the link that tied us
with shared roots
beneath the earth that raised us
Eating ber, creamy fudge, fafda, aam ras
Making memories from food
Over food
And around food
Dressing up for garba
Dressing up for plays
Sharing moments, stories,
and more laughter than I can capture in words
My first best friend
My confidante
My rock
My co-dreamer, co-conspirator,
Pictionary-sneaker
How time has lifted us to different parts
Of this world,
Of our lives
How time had changed us
Brought more people to love and call family
And time has watched us grow
And has walked with us
To doorways and paths
Of life transforming us
As we unwittingly tinker with it

521

Thursday, August 4, 2016

Friends

Today, our friends came by
In our new home
In our new world
To share in all of it
There's something about friends
Uplifting
Sobering
Reflection-inducing
That makes me everlastingly
Grateful
For friends who come by

520

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Trust in me

When you don't know much
About yourself, it's hard to
Open a new door

519

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Tempered

As a young child,
Temper had a specific meaning
One that I didn't appreciate
And was frightened of
I grew older
And in the kitchen
Cooking dal and sabji
Shed a different light on
Temper
Now as I reel from
Broken promises I made to myself
And broke myself
I'm tempering my eagerness
And like my childhood
I don't know of I like it too much
But like in my cooking
It might add value to my days.

We'll see. 

518

A New Year

A new year begins
With it bringing hope and faith
That this will be better

517

Sunday, July 31, 2016

Letters to Tomorrow ~ Trust

Dear Tomorrow,

Before you learn to trust any one else, you'll find it much more loving to earn your own trust first. Sometimes I wish I had known that a long time ago. But here I am, still learning it every single day.

Maybe you'll learn that earlier?

Lovingly,
Suparna

516

Saturday, July 30, 2016

Letters to Tomorrow ~ Last Saturday

Dear Tomorrow,

Today began a new day, a new era for someone I love. And it is the end of one for me.

This past year has been a big gift I gave myself. A gift of time. And most of all a gift of hope, possibility, and potential. That things could change. That I could change.

A year ago, Dan and I were in England celebrating summer, each other, and our possibilities. Today, we are settling in our home in San Diego and I'm at the threshold of a new phase of my life. A year ago, I couldn't have possibly imagined this past year.

It makes me wonder about what you will be like, Tomorrow.

Lovingly,
Suparna

515

Letters to Tomorrow ~ Ice Cream Cannoli

Dear Tomorrow,

Today, we unpacked some more, ran errands, stayed positive, and our home has begun to look more like our home. After a full day's work, we headed out to enjoy Balboa Park, the food truck festival, and a beautiful night out. We watched the sunset and hundreds of people going silly over Pokemon Go. And then we bought beers and enjoyed them in our new home. But before all of that, we decided to try something new. We had some cannoli stuffed with cookies and cream ice cream. At first, I was skeptical. But Dan's confidence helped me and we gave it a try. You will learn that I'm adventurous about many things, but food is often not on that list. It was worth it. It was the perfect cannoli and pre-dinner dessert.

Sometimes it pays to try new things. I hope you always have the courage to try your ice cream cannoli.

Lovingly,
Suparna

514

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Letters to Tomorrow ~ Bug, Bugger, Buggest.

Dear Tomorrow,

There are some days that you will look back at and laugh. When they are happening though, you will not feel that way. 

Like today, when Dan and I opened our box of masalas, with a supreme sense of excitement at the prospect of making dal-chawal to treat ourselves after a long day of settling in, only to find nasty bugs devouring our masalas, all our other spices, and most of our food. The grumpy packer must've been really grumpy to have misled us with information about packing our food. We had to throw away all our food, clean out our kitchen as we were unpacking, and spend our evening giving each other pep talks about taking on the bugs. 

One day, we'll laugh at this story. Today, is not that day. 

The best part about it - we were on the same team. And Dan did make me laugh, just not about bugs ; ) 

(Dan - timesheet, sign, neat)

Lovingly,
-Suparna

513

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Adjusting Expectations

Today was a day
with unmet expectations
but positive hearts

Today's haiku is to remind me that even when things don't go as planned (your moving truck is 5 hours late), there's a lot to be grateful for (stuff is here!)

512

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Firsts

Dear Dan,

I hope we'll remember this day as one with our first home cooked meal (colorful rigatoni, vodka sauce, cheesy focassia, and fake fish filets), our first time working alongside at the kitchen counter, first time in downtown SD eating vegan Mexican food, first time looking for parking in old town, walking hand in hand sharing dreams, and enjoying the indelible pleasure of feeling like we chose well.

Here's to many more firsts. Yours,
Suparna

511

Monday, July 25, 2016

Learning a New Home

When I stand in the sand,
My toes play games with each grain,
At first
Every grain digs into me
Piercing my skin
Pushing every known cell
To accommodate
To grow into this new feeling.

I resist.

I kick my feet around
Flail
Drown them in luscious waves
To free myself of the ground I stand on
This new home that wants to root me

Again
The waves rush away from me
Pulling back with the strength of a trillion rubber bands stretching back waiting for their full elasticity to be tested
Before they come crashing back to me
The receding water
Draws in all the little grains of sand around my feet
I feel the 2 feet squared ground hugging my feet
Escaping, collapsing, being swallowed from under me

Again
I resist.
Again
and
again

It's new
It's uncomfortable
It's unfamiliar
It's different

But
Only
Until
I
Don't
Own
It

Only until I don't learn my new home.

510

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Welcome Home

Dear Dan,

Here we are...20 hours of driving through mountains, plateaus, plains, and deserts. We're home! I'm so excited to start this journey with you by my side. Even as we sit here, in our oversized bedroom, listening to the chirp of crickets, digesting frozen pizza, and feeling grateful for our air mattress here, I'm so glad to be here with you.

I love you,
Suparna

509

Saturday, July 23, 2016

Goodbye Colorado

Dear Dan,

Today, we said goodbye to my first home in this country. We began our adventures early enough and left little pieces of our hearts behind at mom and dad's. I can't stomach goodbyes, which was again proven true by the dull stomach ache I had our whole trip today. Our route out of Colorado took us through a little journey back in time through all our favorite spots and all the places we lived in. Traffic cooperated and before we knew it, we were driving gingerly alongside a lost sheep in Glenwood Springs. We never did make it to Hanging Lake and I loved how we both said, "Next time..." as we drove by the exit for it. Thanks for helping me eat my lunch as we zipped through and past the western slopes, past Grand Junction, and then suddenly and sadly crossing the oddly fonted "Leaving Colorful Colorado" sign into "Entering Utah". Bland turned to dry untouched bland, and then into parched dry untouched bland. We then entered Canyonlands and the landscape shifted to my favorite historically fantastical rocks that make me feel like I'm walking with dinosaurs and that someone let gigantic gooey drops of chocolate chip cookie dough drip from a spoon onto a baking tray. Writing about baking trays reminds me - thank goodness for air conditioned cars! The 100+ degrees Fahrenheit temperatures outside became more bearable as we trailblazed at 90 mph (Yay Utah!)

My favorite parts about today that made the heartbreak of leaving family, friends, and places behind bearable were:

■ Taking wondrous memories
■ Our 50th Mile Memories
■ Our 100th Mile Dance Parties
■ You

St. George is hot (102 degrees Fahrenheit at 10pm and feels like hell), but there's no one else I'd rather be driving through southern Utah with, and no one else I'd be saying goodbye to our first home with, no one else I'd be excited to start our new chapter with...than you.

With all my heart,
Suparna

508

A Smile Among Goodbyes

Today begins the last of lasts
Of my first of firsts
My first home away from home
My first snowman welcoming me home
My first time driving
My first friends
My first family in a distant home
My first of many firsts
Is coming to a slow end
As I end my last day
And yet through tears,
I found a smile

507

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Same Team

Sometimes,
We're just not on the same team
How much ever
We may want to be
We talk over one another
Through each other's pleas
Turning ears away
Rolling eyes around
Shooting words like arrows
No,
We were not on the same team

506

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Letters to Tomorrow ~ Magic

Dear Tomorrow,

Magic is funny that way
It's in the deepest of hearts
And the silliest of places
If you look deeply
You might miss it
Especially when it's been sitting
Under your nose for ages
Sometimes it's in a surprise phone call
Sometimes it's in a hug you've waited for
Sometimes it's the way the moon rises
And sometimes it's in a bite of your favorite pie
Look for it when you least expect to find it
Look out for it when you're not looking for it
You are magic
So don't look too far

Lovingly,
Suparna

505

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Letters to Tomorrow~ Find Your Sliver

Dear Tomorrow,

Sometimes I worry about this world you will come into. A world that feels so tipsy turvy sometimes. A world that feels stuck on a vault and unable to step down. A world where gravity stops working and hearts forever stay heavy.

Then I tell myself... comfort myself into finding a little sliver of joy. And holding on to it tightly.

I hope I can give you more than a little sliver in this upside down world.

Lovingly,
Suparna

504

Monday, July 18, 2016

Cool Off

When sunshine yellow meets
Caramelised mint and dandelion buds
That's what summer days are made of

503

Sunday, July 17, 2016

One More Goodbye

Another goodbye has begun
As our week of lasts begins
And we welcome new beginnings
New roots
As we start new adventures
With new perspectives
And new insights
Our new steps must be taken

502

Saturday, July 16, 2016

Letters to Tomorrow ~ Don't forget to look up

Dear Tomorrow,

Sometimes when you walk on life's paths, you will want to keep your eyes on the ground. You may want to watch every step, keeping one eye on one foot, and the other on the other. You may want to carefully take in each obstacle, each rock you have to climb, each stream you have to cross, and each bench you have to sit on, in your stride. And sometimes, just sometimes, you may just want to look up. Don't forget that. You might be surprised by what you find.

Lovingly,
Suparna

501

Friday, July 15, 2016

Letters to Tomorrow ~ Trust Yourself

Dear Tomorrow,

There will be a lot of times, circumstances, events, and people who will come in the way of you trusting yourself. Remember, they're not you. They don't get to be you or live your choices. You get to hold your shoulders high or lower your gaze for. You are the one who will decide when to step in, step back, step up, and step down. You are entirely capable. Trust yourself.

Lovingly,
Suparna

500

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Letters to Tomorrow ~ Rainbow and Walrus

Dear Tomorrow,

As we said goodbye today to a city we called home for two years and dear friends and adopted grandparents, I let the streets we drove on bring back lots of memories. I remembered my first time driving, my first walk with Dan in the snow, my first shrimp salad, my first bank account, my first grocery shopping experience with my own money, leaving notes for Dad on his car, long bike rides, meals with family and friends, heartbreaks, trials, goodbyes. I thought of how a walrus makes me smile and felt at home with every color of the rainbow.

I hope you find your homes in loving places like this one.

Lovingly,
Suparna

499

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Sunny Soak Up

A day spent digging for gold
Building forts
Splashing in the water
And being in the sun
Is a pretty marvelous day!
Especially when
You can get four generations
Of a family together
Even the sun smiles for you.

498

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Family Reunions!

This family I know
Filled with kindness and warmth
Opened its doors
To me, with open arms
And since that day
We've had adventures galore
Come what may
They're a family to adore

497

Monday, July 11, 2016

Letters to Tomorrow ~ Purging

Dear Tomorrow,

Today I spent a while purging. There's a certain degree of trepidation involved before the actual act. I think of questions like, "What if I'll miss this later?" And, "Will I need this in the future?" I wonder about the sentimentality of objects, things, items. Each one is accompanied by a memory. I think fondly back to some, and some feel vacant and confusing. I get rid of them immediately. After the trepidation passes, I welcome gratitude. I send a good wish out to all the good times linked with that object. I giggle giddy at some, and at others I wince with sadness. Finally, I let go. I put it away and don't think about it. I take in the empty spaces left in their wake and rejoice with openness new beginnings.

And this way, I was able to purge my wardrobe to half its size today.

Sometimes in life, it's okay to purge. Even beyond your clothes.

Lovingly,
Suparna

496

Sunday, July 10, 2016

Good People

When you find good people
Hold on to them
Not necessarily like a fish to water
But more
Like a hand comforting another
It's these hands that hold you
When your foundation feels shaky
And the same hands
That contort questioningly into asks
That push you to grow
It's these hands that are ready to give you high fives, pats, and gentle rubs
Letting you know that tomorrow will come
And, with or without you,
It will trudge forward
It's the same hand that will caress your hair back behind your ears
And the same that will hold you back when you're going too far
The hand that'll feed you
And the hand that'll hold itself open hungry for your love
Be kind to yourself
Be kinder to good people
Hold onto them

495

Saturday, July 9, 2016

A good day

A good day is one
Filled with family
Friends and a loved one

A good day is one
Involving cliff divers
Having some fun

A good day is one
With loud singing
And ice cream in the sun

A good day is one
Like today was
I hope there'll be more to come

494

Friday, July 8, 2016

Letters to Tomorrow ~ Wander

Dear Tomorrow,

Today, Dan and I wandered a lot. We wandered through trails and allies that seemed familiar, and those that were new to us. As we wandered, I realized a few things I wanted to share with you:

∆ Wandering is more fun when you're with someone you could get lost with

∆ When wandering, allow yourself to get lost

∆ Realize when you want to be found

∆ Be open to finding bits of yourself in corners, under awnings, and through doorways

∆ Tread carefully and openly

∆ Leave little or no footprints

∆ Acknowledge your fellow wanderers with a smile

∆ Honor your meandering journey - it's unique

∆ Pave your own path, and wander on it

∆ Explore nooks, you never know what you might find there

∆ Remember - not all who are lost wander, but when you do wander, you might just find yourself

Lovingly,
Suparna

493

Thursday, July 7, 2016

Goodbye Home

Today was one of many goodbyes that I have begun to say to this city, this state, people here, memories I've made. I know there's a lot to look forward to - new home, new people, new city, new state, new memories to be made. But today, I watched the sun set over a quiet Denver, snuggled between two hills, watching a movie under the stars and lightening in a distance - and I got to do it all with the person I love and for whom I would do all of this again, willingly, gladly.

492