Monday, February 29, 2016

An extra day

What a bonus it is
To have this day
To love
To live
To breathe
And see this day here
Today

363

Sunday, February 28, 2016

Holding My Breath

Maybe one day I'll give myself permission
To breathe
For now, I allow myself to hold my breath
To curtail
This lonely lung is confused about deadlines
Too artificial
Too stifling
It's time to let loose
Time to let go
Time to breathe

362

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Comfort Food

Dear Dan,

As you struggled today, I wanted so much to make you feel better. Such good things happened too, but such not so good things too. Through it all, I hope I can be there to comfort you, hold your hand, and be there for you. Thanks for letting me be there for you and care for you with comfort food, hugs, and help. I can't wait to celebrate with you. Each and every day.

Love, yours,
Suparna

361

Friday, February 26, 2016

Fabricated

Interwoven in these times
are moments quietly waiting to happen
Like the seamless solitude of yarn
brought together by small hands
Learning to weave memories and moments
in chromatic harmony

360

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Jump, jump, jump

Dear Dan,

It's not everyday that I can say I learned how to jump a car's battery, pushed a 2 ton hunk of metal in neutral, learned to override the gears in a car, or confirm the true identity of an allen wrench.

I guess today wasn't everyday.

Strong, and in love,
Suparna

359

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

The joy of a good dosa

Little is known
About the subject of this pome
A crispy spiral from scratch
Tough to make, that's the catch
But with a little help from my friend
Some yummy dosa making happened!

358

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Sun melding into Snow

Shadows aren't too be taken lightly

Timely silhouettes against fighting skies

Shining through with agonizing quiet

Broken only by mounds of heavy snow 

Crashing in deliberate slow motion

If only

My hands were steady enough to catch them



357

Monday, February 22, 2016

It came down

My first snow of the season
It came to me on time
I was belated
Soft drops
Turning to icy shards
Then to white fluffy kisses
I try to catch
To hold on to
On my cheek
Tongue
Nose
They fleet
They flitter
And leave me cold

356

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Stand Up

Why was it so much easier
to stand up for what was right
when things weren't so wrong
Does growing up mean
it gets harder?
Or are there just more things wrong
Wronger?

355

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Little Laughter

Those little giggles
Light up the world
That so needs laughter
And hugs
And today the world became a little brighter

354

Friday, February 19, 2016

The night stood still

And the night stood still
And the birds tripped midflight
Till time itself snickered
At its own unpretentious failure
And clouds danced slower than usual
And little children laughed with their heads and their hearts that beat in synchrony
Till the wind waged its silent war
Against every leaf that left its home
Ready to fight for its freedom to sway without inhibition
And puddles leapt up in the air
With the callous love of new lovers
Unknowing of the drop that gravity
Inevitably has in store
I watched from my bedroom window
Smiling
As the night stood still

353

Thursday, February 18, 2016

In a funk

I heard it was a nice day out
I didn't taste the air
Turns out catching your own breath in the middle of coughs can be hard
I wondered about the many fights
being fought all over
On streets, in classrooms, outside town halls
Which fight should I fight?
I'm asking myself that very question
Which battle should I pick?
Currently the war that awaits me is one being waged inside me
I'm trying
Working hard to fight this funk

352

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

2/17 at 2:17

Another little one arrives
To bring us hope
Bring us Joy
In ways we don't yet know
A little bundle of hope
Wandering in our world
Reminding us that there is still
Love in our world
That is so torn
Broken
Distant
And yet today
I saw the future in her eyes
And it's joyful

Still Winded

Sun, won't you stop hiding?
Or is the Could that I need to have a word with?
Moving about playfully
But such games leave me restless
Helpless
As I sit and watch shadows draw pictures on my wall
Not knowing if the next speck of light will come through
To create that next picture on my wall

350

Monday, February 15, 2016

The luxury of time

Falling sick is never easy
Broken body
Aching and smelling of exhaustion
No sleep or rest for these tired eyes
The fire inside my throat
Burns volcanoes ready to erupt
But I am fortunate
I have time
Time, safety, care
To heal
To recover
To find strength
And that's a luxury

349

Together

Togetherness is not overrated
As I sit still together with you
I am certain this is not overrated

I feel grateful
Full of warmth
In this togetherness

348

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Winded

The wind called me today
As I slumbered in and out of rest
And restlessness
Head telling me to slow down
Heart looking for its voice again
Slowly
Steadily
She calls to me
As the trees dance knowingly
Questioning why my heart won't listen to my
head

347

Friday, February 12, 2016

Self-Care, The Movie

Dear Dan,

Now that I've been back for a week (and still can't get enough of being near you!), I'm slowly conquering my jet lag and getting the better of it. Getting over jet lag means also becoming more used to a routine and I love that I get to see you, get to take care of you, care for me, and just be. Today, as you made music, I did something that I really enjoy doing.

When I was in college, mummy and I would take a cycle rickshaw every weekend to the mall and go watch the latest movie. We bonded over many tearful flicks, shuddered over some horrific ones, and laughed with strangers at tickling movies.

Movie watching in the theater has always held special meaning for me. Even when I was younger, we would all get very dressed up and head for a night out to the movies. DDLJ, Hum Aapke Hain Kaun, Apollo 13, Titanic, Dil Chahta Hai, Kal Ho Na Ho, Lagaan...these stand out as family movies watched with family. Barring maybe Titanic!

When I met your family, I was delighted when on Christmas day, we made pizza and I got to partake in your TMNT wait-for-one-of-the-turtles-to-take-his-first-bite-before-we-dug-into-ours experience. I loved our Christmas day movie tradition. I also remember that awkward moment of realization that the Indian-censored version of Love Actually tricked me into believing it was a family-friendly film.

I have cried over movies. Loved them. Been inspired by them. Been left disturbed, perturbed, and shaken by them.

And tonight I was left feeling liberated by one. The movie, Deadpool, was a coincidental choice. But the setting was intentional. I went for two movies by myself in India when I was a student. It wasn't common or easy for me, but it was liberating as could be.

It's such a privilege to be able to safely and with dignity watch a movie on my own. And I loved exercising it today.

Also, you would've hated this movie ; )

Movie night, tomorrow?
Suparna

346

Thursday, February 11, 2016

When one heart is not big enough

This heart of mine
feels too small
to hold all this pride and joy
I have for young humans
who have taught me
patience
forgiveness
kindness
humility
that scars only mean those cuts healed
that cracks only let the light in
that everyone makes misnakes
that it's ok to take a deep breath
this little heart is slowly growing
as my love for these teachers of mine grows

345

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

The Piece That Fit

You are the 7:15 that took turns to wake up
The silent walk from home to school
You are the patient waiting while I socialized
The endless pit of acceptance and love
You are the tears over tv on a Wednesday night
The quiet sacrifices made without spite
You are the Backstreet Boys poster above the bed
The joy of recording songs into a Walkman
You are the passion in a PowerPoint presentation
The artist's strokes that never died
You are the protector, the hero
Silently supporting, holding it all inside
You are the travel buddy on those solo trips
The tearful goodbyes filled with regret
You are the barbie dressed for bihu
The writer's creations pouring on paper
You are the smell of a newborn puppy
The two P's who always were yours
You are the cigarette smoked in anger
The curious risk-taker, forever an adventurer
You are the friend, always there
The love from far away
You are the long phone bills of distanced love
The torment of timezones and miscommunication
You are the bastion parents lean on
The laughter that comes deep from joy
You are the Spanish Esperanto French tongue
The learning of that inner yogi
You are the kind knowing reader
The wisdom that lights lights all around
You are the jigsaw for this little sister of yours
The hero, inspiration, the piece that fit

344

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Old Faces

Seeing old faces
Brightened up my day today
So much happiness

343

Monday, February 8, 2016

Quitting

Sometimes quitting is more than
just that
It's finding the courage
to look at inadequacies, and places of growth
in the eye
and be bold enough to admit
that there's a lot more to learn and do
and that this journey doesn't have to end
but lead to something new

342

Sunday, February 7, 2016

Victory

Bodies thudding
Bones smashing
Helmets cracking
Blues melding with orange
Victory always accompanies loss

341

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Sleepy Haiku

Sleep comes slowly now
and out of nowhere, it's night
here but not for me

340

Friday, February 5, 2016

Gifts of the Earth

When children find gifts from the earth
To share with us people of the earth
In all is earthiness
It's unearthly
How humbling that can be

339

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Hello

Saying goodbye to a Tokyo sunset
To arrive to a sunny Boulder afternoon
Through customs, immigration, and the general rigamarole,
To find myself back home
Among snowy mountains
And lungs that breathe in piercing cold
Joyfully
I'm home
It's warm, safe, and filled with hugs
Feels like you
Holding me tight
I'm home, Dan
I'm home

338

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Goodbye

It's that time
To say goodbye
To people, places
I've called mine
For a while
People I'll still
Call mine
But it's that time
To go back to the place
I call mine
Goodbye to one home
Hello to another

337

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Last Night

Dear Dan,

It's been 118 nights since I left on this journey. 118! Much has changed, much has grown, and I am so glad I went on this journey. Thank you for being a part of it every day. Each day. Tonight, I spend my last night in this continent. In two nights, I'll be in our home, with you.

Can't wait,
Suparna

336

Monday, February 1, 2016

A long long time ago

Hearts from a long time ago
unite
over laughter and wide eyes

Old becomes new
And new ones feel like they've been known
a long time

When hearts from a long time ago
come together
it fills cups with memories, stories, and love

335

Twenty Nine

Milestones,
though arbitrary
are mounted with meaning
lasts, firsts, and in-betweens,
all shrouded in symbolism
the last year of my second decade
means nothing and so much all at once
a decade ago
life was different
a decade from now
it shall be so
a privilege to say
I get another day
another moment to call mine
take a breath
and be alive

334