Monday, April 11, 2016

Letters to Tomorrow ~ Generous

Dear Tomorrow,

When you find yourself at an airport waiting for a very delayed flight, you're not feeling your most relaxed self. I felt anxious, irritated, and very annoyed at the weather, the delayed plane, the people farting next to me. In these situations, I try to stop what I'm doing, take a few mindful breaths, bring my awareness to my breathing, name my feelings, and activate my parasympathetic nervous system. It didn't work at all this time. I did have the rising sensation that someone had thrown up in the very spot I was occupying, which only exacerbated my surly response to the situation of a possible 2 am arrival of what was supposed to be an 1155 pm one - on a week night. The pain in my back from poor ergonomics and neglecting my physical therapy for the last few days was catching up and I couldn't make up my mind between standing up or sitting down.

My mind was made up about one thing...
I was not happy.

Dan's hand found mine during one of my intermittent sitting down moments and he smiled slowly into my eyes. It wasn't a "I'm blissfully ignorant about how anxious you are, life is lalalalalalala" smile. Without saying a word, his nerves reached out to signal mine - "I'm frustrated too, but we've got each other, and it'll be okay".

I wish I could say it wasn't as clichéd as all at once I felt different. But that's the truth - cliché or not. I felt his hand let me know I was safe. I felt his mouth arch to know I was loved. And I felt full with his generosity.

Dan took time this weekend to take risks, be spontaneous, and most courageously, to be generous with his time and love.

This kind of generosity is hard to come by. With Dan, everyday feels like not falling, but dancing, standing up tall, and being present in love with him.

I hope you experience that level of generosity in your life, and share it with others around you.

Lovingly,
Suparna

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