I listen to myself sometimes. Often, I will hear my critic. My self-critic has quite a personality. She is loud and assertive. And insertive (she inserts herself unsolicited into a lot of situations). I heard myself being rather mean to myself. "Good for nothing!" "Get moving!" "You did a terrible job!" Those are some examples of her meanness. I certainly don't like it when I allow her to speak to me that way.
It's in moments like these, that I have to remind myself that this is my critic. I can tell her to shut it. (Not that I wouldn't try to say that to another mean critic either.)
So I did.
And I had to cajole and nudge her a bit, but eventually my inner cheer leader awakened and stood up for me.
I've been working on my selfhood for many years now. For me, it's very important that my self is embedded and rooted in a communal whole. But it's sad when my self-critic will come in the way of my sense of self. I'm working on it, but I like the sound of my cheer leader. She's kind, nonjudgmental, and empowering. I am working on limiting my harsh inner critic's dominance, just as I limit my interactions with mean, negative, disempowering folks in my life.
I wish you nothing but cheer leaders - inside and out.