Sunday, April 30, 2017

You're Home

Waiting patiently
Gambling knowingly
Putting life
On hold
Living partially
Till you
Come back
Back again
To us
To life
You're home

789

Saturday, April 29, 2017

Not Alone

I held you tight today
Though through muscle,
Blood, and skin
You didn't hold me back,
But you kicked and jolted back
To let me know,
You knew,
I was here.
You knew you were not alone
And to let me know,
I'm
Not alone

788

Friday, April 28, 2017

And so it begins

I've been here before,
I can smell the excitement,
The relief.
The small sadness inside
Swells and subsides.
Still hasn't sunk in
And it will probably all change,
Or become my new normal,
Before I even realize it.
It's just like last time,
And so it begins

787

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Eve of Newness

What will tomorrow hold?
I wonder with all my might

Will it be filled with dull doubts
Or bright guiding light?

786

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Uncertainty

Moments of clarity
Try to fight their way
Through the thicket
Of my uncertain fears.

Who will win?

785

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Hear, Listen

He tries to listen,
But hasn't heard him yet
They're talking to one another
In different languages
Too much pain
And fear
To actually hear
Or speak

784

Monday, April 24, 2017

The beginning of another end

Last week begins
And I can feel my body,
Mind, and heart prepare
For yet another end
As I get ready for the biggest
Beginning
I've ever known

783

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Dangerous

You should not own one.
There should be some law,
Some enforcement,
Stopping you from getting your hands on one.

There's nothing safe,
Nothing right,
About one with you,
You know that, I know you do.

You hurt others,
You've hurt yourself,
Why are you making it easier,
To be so dangerous?

782

Saturday, April 22, 2017

March On

There's a tomorrow
And it cannot be taken
For granted
There are oceans,
Seas, mountains, and valleys
That long precede us,
And will most certainly outlive us.
So as you walk today,
Do so with the knowledge
That your steps
Are temporary
But your footprints,
Have a chance of surviving
Past your presence.
So,
March on

781

Friday, April 21, 2017

Making More Room

As you grow and change
So do I
Our bodies intertwine
We share a space
Even as you grow into your own
I'm making more room
For your home

780

Thursday, April 20, 2017

You're Back!

Unlike yesterday,
You seem back today.
Back to who I know
As you and I like that.
I like having you around
Back as all you are

779

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Can't Make You

No matter what I try
To say or do
If you don't see what you're worth
I can't make you

No matter what I say
To let you know
Won't mean a thing till you believe
You are worth it, capable, and so much more

So it's really up to you
How you care for you
I could try, but would fail
Because I can't make you

778

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

A little longer still

Stay in there a little longer
Please
There's a little more growing
Little more becoming
You
That still needs to happen
A little more practice
A little more habit
A little more of getting to know you
That still needs to happen
Stay in there
A little longer
My little one

777

Monday, April 17, 2017

Talk to Me

It's so much simpler
When you just talk to me.
It may not be easier,
I acknowledge,
But it does make things simpler,
When you just talk to me.
When you don't,
I hear it in your voice,
I sense it in your silence
And it hurts.
It hurts because you won't talk,
Yet you're screaming in your quiet.
And it hurts.

776

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Your Movements

It's been a little over seven months
And though you change so often
I feel like I know you
A part of me is getting to know you
Each day I learn something new
I've had friends, partners, colleagues, teachers, students
I've learned so much loving with my partner
Yet learning about you is a whole different experience
I am learning to listen for you
In between your silences
Learning to feel you
Before you summersault
Putting my hand in my belly
And feeling you reach out
You're teaching me so much
About you,
About us,
And I haven't even met you

775

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Tomorrow's Sun

Today I said goodbye
To the most beautiful rays of pink
Lined with the shade of gold
Found in a perfectly poached egg
As it went down
I took a deep breath
And, not for the first time,
Marveled at just how lucky
I am
And will be
If I get to see
Tomorrow's sun

774

Friday, April 14, 2017

Untimely

Out of time
Out of sync
Our of whack
Out on a whim
Somedays are better than
Other days
Today was an other day though

773

Thursday, April 13, 2017

That's Crazy

Before you call something
Crazy
Think
About the everyday struggles
That break people's hearts
And the binds that shackle them
To the smallest thread of insanity

772

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Lunch Treats

I know it's not a lot
But it means so much
To my little heart
And my big hopes
That you have me this lunch treat
It was filled with smiles
And left me so full,
Renewed, and
Ready
All it took,
Was a little treat
A little lunch treat.

771

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Downs and Ups

In a stretch of 60 minutes
So much can with a heart down,
While lifting it all the way up
And through it all,
Knowing I've got my feet on the ground
Keeps my head steady
For the next down and up

770

Monday, April 10, 2017

New Life

New life enters
As it exits and leaves
The old behind
To never turn back
Never look over its shoulders
To tread forward
One step at a time

769

Sunday, April 9, 2017

Summersaults and Dances

It's there enough room in there
For your acrobatics,
Your gymnastics?

Sometimes I have to wonder
When my insides tighten,
And I can't feel my outsides

Do you still have room?

But then I watch you ripple
Across my body,
Underneath my skin

And I can almost hear the music
Loud and clear,
That you're dancing to

768

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Biggest

And then it's something else
To feel you growing,
Getting big, bigger,
Inside me.
Just like that hibiscus in bloom outside,
You stemmed from a little seed,
And will soon shed the cocoon
That's your home,
Has been your home.
My body has never had a greater honor
Than to be your home

767

Bigger

It's really something
To watch anything​ grow
That transition from
Small to big
To small again at the end
To watch a bud rise
Into a cocoon petals
And then retreat back into
Its smallest self again
Only to relive,
Rejuvenate,
Into something new,
Again

766

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Big

As you twist
And maneuver your way around
Inside me
I feel myself swell.
With every breath
I inhale a profound tightness
That comes with a big heart
And so much love

765

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Being

So much to be here for
Why then does my mind wander
To places I surely
Need to walk away from?

764

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

The Freedom to Be

We have so much
To be grateful for
So much ability
To be who we want to be
In a world
Tirelessly trying
To make us more,
Less,
Different
I am so glad
We've got the freedom
To just be

763

Monday, April 3, 2017

Your First Clothes

I finish up that last stitch.
I can almost smell you.
I haven't seen you,
But I can picture you now,
In this little piece of your grandfather -
Your Dada.
With every stitch,
I imagine you in this outfit,
Your first in this world
When you will exit me
And we'll clothe you,
Hold you,
Console you,
As you leave your little world
To come see us

762

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Terima Kasih

You have always been there
Your support,
Kindness,
And encouragement,
Mean a lot
Tireless, and ever present,
Today, I thank you,
For today, yesterday, and beyond

761

Saturday, April 1, 2017

Innuendoes

There were so many of them
Hidden amidst cliches,
Trite everyday moments,
And -ist stereotypes
Yet they were there,
Pushing boundaries
Painstakingly slow, though it may be
At least in a positive direction,
Those innuendoes

760