Maybe May'by

So you're not going to be
A May baby

But we'll see you in June
And that's so soon

Maybe tomorrow
Maybe next week
Maybe you'll be kind
And be on time?

Either way
Whatever you choose
Mummy and Daddy
Can't wait to hold you

820

Full

Is it possible for
This heart
To be any
Fuller?

As time swells,
My hopes join it
And this excitement
Becomes one with me

As inevitable as it all seems
It's the distance
And the unknown
That keep me going
And yield impatience

All in the excitement
Of you
With my full heart
Full of Hope

819

I'm Right Where I Need To Be

Timelessness
And being somewhere else
Rub me the right way
Sometimes
And in some places
Right now, though,
My body and mind are right where they
Need to be

Cocooned in between
Here and there
And finding
Solace, even joy,
In the spaces in between

This is between
You and me
I'm right where I need to be
I hope you are too

818

Life's Like That Only

Untimely
Unknown
Fragile
Fleeting
Breathless
Heavy
Lightheaded
Full
Life's full of all of it
And as empty
As we want it to be

817

Life's Like That Only

Untimely
Unknown
Fragile
Fleeting
Breathless
Heavy
Lightheaded
Full
Life's full of all of it
And as empty
As we want it to be

816

There Yet?

Patience has been eagerly
Waiting for me
To find it,
As it hides
And asks me to seek

816

Learn to Walk Away

It truly is something
That needs to be mastered
Knowing when to step in,
And when to walk away

815

Old Habits

I'm at the verge of
Something new
Unforeseen
Never experienced before
I noticed even more today
As I wandered through
A room of old habits,
How truly
Unprepared and simultaneously
Ready I am for this new beginning

814

Coincidence

Some things are coincidences
Some things happen to be incidental
You are neither
And for that I'm eternally grateful

813

In Between

There's this word,
That doesn't really exist
To describe these moments
That transition into hours
Into days
Into memories
In between

In between this and that
In between
Here and there
In between
What we know, have known all this time,
And what we can only imagine
In between what has been
And what it's all about to become
In between us being us two
To us being us three

I'm here,
In between
And I know you're there
On the other side
Waiting for me,
Tomorrow

812

Are You Alright?

I know,
I have to trust.
Thanks for being my teacher.
But this one's hard.

811

Domingo

And so it goes
Another day of being
A gift of breath
Of kind loving
So much abundance
Of many things to be grateful for
So many
I can't count that high
That's a day worth having lived

810

Such Splendor

Small wonders
Are my current
Big deal
The smallest
Twitch
Jolt
Swish
Leave me
Waiting
Wondering
About your
Small splendor

809

Capturing Moments

Some days,
I just want to
Conjure a bottle
And store
In it
The indescribable
Feeling
That is my full heart

808

Keep Beating, Okay Heart?

It may not listen to me
As clearly as I want it to
It may not ever understand
How I want to will it
In a certain way
I've demanded a lot from it...
I've asked it to forget,
To let go,
To forgive pain
To beat faster than it can handle
To slow down with every breath
To give me the boost I need
To leap into unknowns
To trust itself with what it knows
Yet, today, I have just one more request,
A simple one, I hope,
Keep beating, okay, heart?
Because you're what I need.

807

Out Of My Hands

Every moment since
Has been nothing
But a mighty act of letting go

This is out of my hands
Even if I may not feel as though
It's never been in mine, ever, really

Not sure I know exactly where
This journey will take me
I'm ready, for my destination

I know it's right around the corner
I feel it under my ribs
And in my body

I think I might have control,
But, really, every moment since then
Has prepared me to let go

806

Restful Restlessness

Getting there
I know it
Yet my body is restless
Which means it refuses to rest
Even when I know it needs to
Like a camel unsure of
Much water it still has in store
And how much it will need
When it doesn't know
How much of the journey is still left

I am restless.

805

Can't Wait to Meet You

That's what us grown ups do
We read, take classes, get advice,
And watch videos
To get ready for you

We build, assemble, paint, and clean
So we can get everything ready,
Your room, your bed, your closet,
And even a sound machine

You are doing so great, our little Roo
So keep growing, rolling, and dancing
You're becoming your own person,
And we can't wait to meet you

804

Made It!

Here we go!
37 weeks today!
We're getting there!
Almost here!
Stay a little longer though!
And grow, grow grow!

803

Toast-Bread

This is it,
No going back.
From here,
To there.
Only one direction to keep moving
Onwards,
Out,
Up!

802

Good Friends

When you find a little piece
Of your heart
Beating in someone else
Know that I take very seriously
The responsibility of holding
Your little heart piece close to mine too
Of caring for it,
Nourishing it,
And thanking you, my good friend,
For it

801

11 Years Ago

Do you remember today? Today, 11 years ago?

I remember giving into all of my fears,

With the immensity of hope.

I remember my heart not waiting for my permission,

To erupt from my body.

I remember how perfectly moist the air smelled,

Though that was sweat, not air on me.

I remember the pulled-up sleeves on your borrowed jacket,

You holding me back as I naively jumped out of the car.

I remember that room number,

I know you do too.

Eleven years have passed,

Since I first met you.

800

Be Okay

There's so much to let go off
So much I know
Is out of my reach
I try
To do all I can
To make it perfect
Yet
There so much I cannot change
Cannot control

799

My Favorite Feeling

My Dear Baby,

Thank you for giving me a taste of one of my favorite feelings​ in the whole wide world.

I have felt so many amazing feelings in my life so far. The thrill of young love. The adrenaline that fuels risks. The snuggles of a new born puppy. The smell of a new old book with so many stories hidden in it. The gush of afternoon rain partnered with a strong cup of tea. Creating something to share with others. That kiss by the lake when his tears mingled with mine. The interlacing of my fingers in the hands of my big sister. When my mother told me she was proud of me. The way a child looks at you to let you know you've been a good teacher to them. The undeniable freedom of being independent. Soaring through space while dancing like you're completely alone. Dancing with him. The moment after a long and perfect conversation with a close friend. The first bite of something cooked with love. The first day of summer vacation with your cousins. The way he falls asleep in the nook between the neck and shoulder. The way his snores tickle. The way a song can make you cry.

And then you came along.

And from the first time I felt you move in me, to every single stretch, kick, roll, summersault, disco-move, side-step, and little hiccup you share with me...I have found one of my favorite feelings in the world.

Thank you, my baby, for giving me this gift of growing with you. My heart flutters every time you roll. My fingers trace your little limbs and humble me - I was once that small. And you will one day be big.

Today, though, let me hold you tight and nurture you, as I enjoy one of my favorite feelings. You - inside me.

With all my love and so much gratitude to you for choosing my body as your home,
Your Mommy

798

8 Saal

That sunny day,
Under that full tree
We stood slightly nervous
At the union of our unlikely
Families
Wholly resolute in our
Understanding
Of what brought us there
And where we would be going next.

I blink back a few pushy tears
When I think of all the moments
Since
And hope for all the moments
Onward.

Like getting ready for a trip
And packing up everything we need
In the luggage of our lives.
Our collective existence
As us.

Eight years have past
And I still can't
Unpack our bags.

Maybe it's because
I know we have another adventure
Just around the corner.

797

Away

The bed feels too big
The house too quiet
The keyboard is silent too
Without your fingers on it

Lights feels less bright
The sun is still being shy
Without you right here
Things don't feel right

As you grow and soar
I know you miss me too
With each passing moment
I miss you more

796

Early Celebration

A few days early,
Couldn't hurt
To begin our festivities
To celebrate us
All these years,
All these journeys
Converge for us
To begin new adventures

795

Kingly Treat

What a treat
To plant myself
On a very cozy,
Happy, large King bed!
This royal treatment,
Will go far,
In ensuring
That my aches
And pains,
Feel better!

794

Gifts of Access

Having a little access
Can go a long way
I think of that,
Especially today
When so many
Will lose sleep tonight
So many will
Breathe heavy
Because of real fears
Unforgivable worries
About access

793

Luxuries

Such a treat,
To get some help
To take care of myself
When someone else can
Care for us

792

Bodies

A little seed
Grows patiently
Through ups and downs
In the soil it's planted in

791

Why is it so hard?

Some days,
I just don't know
If I can see
What you see
Or even more
How you see me

790