I think back to eight months ago
And how my entire sense of time
Has been governed by weeks, months, and milestones
How fast it has all gone by
Yet so slow
But, you, you are perfectly on cue
Who will you choose to be
When you're faced with your many yous?
Will you choose the you that makes you happy
Or the you that pushes and torments you?
Will you choose the bigness in you
Or choose to be misled by your small version?
Perhaps you'll find that lethargy you hide behind
And see a you ready to leave your orbit
Who really knows?
I know, not you
About who you are and will be
And who you will choose
A dear friend yesterday said to me, on the matter of self-care, "What are you willing to let go of in order to take care of yourself?" I should've asked myself that question today because I had such a delicious cake and I'm really paying the price of it tonight with all the delicious cream on it.
There will be many times in your life when you'll need to give up something that brings you joy for something that brings you contentment or even peace.
I hope you'll choose well.
I love you, always,
I know the only way out is
The thicket of my own heady heart
Beating out of my chest
Even the loudest gulp
Couldn't quiet it
Because at the end,
The end is where I'll find my beaming self
If the passage doesn't extinguish me
You mind if I don't move on?
That way I can remain certain
That my grudges will hold me down
Harder than the tightest seatbelt
On the highest rollercoaster
At least then you'll know
That I was completely empty inside
When you decided to fill me up
We did it! You and I have had many adventures on our own! Today, we flew all by ourselves! I'm proud of us, our teamwork, and our sense of adventure! I love you and thank you for being there for me and with me so I didn't have to fly solo!
We're the same genre
Even share the same story line
But somewhere after chapter 19
Our plots deviated
Or maybe our main characters
Became more complex,
Mired in their own complex realities
But they both did come of age together
I'm not even sure we find ever be in the same book
It doesn't stop me from wishing
That I was in your page
On a Tuesday eight months ago
You became a baby from an embryo
And nothing's ever been the same despite
The occasional sleepless night
Since you were born to us in San Diego!
Eight months since you came out of Mommy
Most days you're pretty balmy
Some weeks though when your new skills form
You go through a tenuous storm
But, hey, it's never been a tsunami!
In the last few weeks you've learned to crawl
And though it may seem a feat so small
We could see how much effort you put in
To build up that core in your body-building
So now you're strong enough to slow your fall!
All that core is helping you play
And set you on lots of new adventures everyday
You're trying to communicate, that's for sure
Even starting to clap to ask for more
And we love how you say, "Mammma" & "Dadday"!
Every morning you sit up, independently playing
Able to stand up and look down at everything
Such a big boy, don't need to be rocked
But you had to wear shoes, because you won't stay socked
Manzil, we love watching you on the go and inspecting !
You love to grab our face slowly
To notice every inch so carefully
You still love munching on your toes
And sometimes we find- your fingers in our nose
And in your belly- khitchadi and ajwain pani!
Now that you crawl, you're always on the go
And you're loving pears, bananas, and avocado
This past month, we made your first sick call
And we're sorry for that yucky mucky Tylenol
You're kicking this virus' butt, and look at you grow!
You've gone from superman, to cat and cow
Your yoga moves make us go, "Wow!"
And we've been noticing lately
You enjoy playing with another baby
Maybe you're over your Momma/Daddy phase (at least for now)?
Here you are on a Tuesday eight months later
Teaching us new words like, "Eighter"
We are so proud of you and to be your parents
And we don't need any further assurance
Because we've known no joy greater!
Like most first time parents, your Mamma and Daddy get very excited about a good poo! Especially after 9 days of diarrhea, it made me jump up and down to see 3 very good looking poos! I was so pleased to note that their texture, consistency, smell, and color (notice the thankful omission of one of the senses ; ) seemed to return to normal. Normal - that's one adjective I have not used in a while to describe the past few days. We've been so worried about you. So sad that you were in discomfort. So upset to see you in pain, shivering with a fever, and confused about what's happening to you. Normal will be slow, I know. But this feels a gazillion times better than even yesterday.
With diaper joy,
Your silly Mamma
A little bit of rest
Can go a long way
And that's what we got today
Some days it's a little
Some days it's a lot
Most of the time time though
It's right on the dot
Not for a mamma or daddy
No, no, there really is
No such thing as too much rest
I am on a hunt for words
Ways to tell you
You have my permission
You can close your eyes
You can trust that I'll be there when you wake up
You can expect to get a response when you communicate
You can take risks
You can move around safely
You can laugh without care
You can giggle out loud when you want
Or cry as you please
You have my permission, Manzil,
To become the person you want to be
Not that you need my permission (or will wait for it ; ), yours, always,