Thursday, May 31, 2018

Even When It Scares You

When bumblebees confuse you
And the sun keeps hiding behind clouds,
I hope you'll keep trying to explore,
Even when it scares you


Wednesday, May 30, 2018

One More Week

A year ago
You had made yourself comfortable
Snug in me
Though you knew
Something was changing
I knew I was
I knew you were
And I loved you then
And I love you now


Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Dreamy Nightmares

You are still what my nightmares are made of
It doesn't seem to matter
How I reconstruct my dreams
Or how carefully I handpick every inch of the interior walls of my fences
Fences I have built to keep you out-
Keep me so far in
You will forget how to find me in my nightmares


Monday, May 28, 2018

What will today hold?

Time is settling in
To a slow stop
Nothing to do
Nowhere to be
And you in my arms



Mind and heart
Rarely unite
Grey is the norm
In a world so black and white


Saturday, May 26, 2018

First Stamps

Dear Manzil,

Today, you got your first stamp in your passport. We hope it'll be the first of many many! As you travel the world, we hope you grow in every way possible. Traveling will do that to you, if you let it.

Here's to many more Spanish adventures and Spanish siestas!

Love you, always,
Mamma and Daddy


Spanish Siesta

There is a boy named Manzil
He couldn't fall asleep
We tried to rock,
We tried to roll,
But there was still no sleep
Constipation didn't help
Neither did sleepless pain
But maybe he'll go to sleep
When we land in Spain!


Thursday, May 24, 2018

Area Code

Of all the places I've lived
All the people I've been
My favorites are many
Here and now is what I have
And completes me to see
That I am whole
And I am all I have been
And all the places that live in me


Wednesday, May 23, 2018

In Place

They seem to be falling
Right where we need them to be
Right when
With a few bonus surprises thrown in
And that, is truly a beautiful thing


Tuesday, May 22, 2018

The Lining

I can see it rising
It's always been there
Just not sitting I've been able to see
In a long time
I know everything that goes up
Must come down
This down was so low
I don't know how I can take another down


Monday, May 21, 2018

Made It

Dear M,

We made it! With lots of love and help. Lots of encouragement and very little sleep. We made it. You're a pretty wonderful teammate, even if you rip your diaper off with the utmost sense of joy and sit screaming in your crib when I'm running off to go pee after 5 hours of not! I love you even more for being the spunky child you are.



Almost There

That eve of the unknown
When tummies erupt with butterflies
That have recently found their freedom
From their caterpillary confines
That's my least and most favorite time


Saturday, May 19, 2018

Don't Worry

I wish I could say,
Don't worry.
Right after I made you
That wouldn't be fair
It wouldn't be fair
To ask you to put away your knives
Right as the hyenas are coming for you


Friday, May 18, 2018

Let Downs

I wear my shame with pride
It teaches me to be better
To know better
And to do better by you
You deserve more
And tomorrow
I'll be grateful
If you let me try again


Thursday, May 17, 2018

I'm doing this

Where did all this strength come from?
I looked all around me
I didn't know it had been inside this whole time
But here I am making it happen
Doing it
With all this strength I didn't know I had


I can do this

So many downs
And many more ups
That's how I'd like to remember my days
That's how I'd like my days to remember me
Let's see how today is


Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Trust Me

How can I
When you don't?
One's not dependent on the other
But they almost are
I know you don't agree
But how are we to move ahead together
When all that we have left behind has us chained?


Monday, May 14, 2018

Thanks, Men

You can't take accountability
You won't see your role
It's all happening to you
And you are of course not to blame
You are, though,
As toxic as the system that bred you
And your pollutive leftovers are not welcome here


Sunday, May 13, 2018

Your Mamma

Dear Manzil,

I have been a lot of things. I will be a lot of things. Things will change me and I will become them. There are things that I am ashamed of that I have been. Things that I'm so proud of. Things that I have left behind. Things that I haven't yet found. Some days I think about all the forgotten things, the broken things, the untimely things. I think about all the things that are indefinite, things that are begging for repair. I think of things that keep me up at night. Things that give me a reason to wake up each day. Things that complete me. Things that leave behind holes with no bottom. Things make me who I am and I make my things mine. Of all the things I have been though, my most favorite and filling is to be...

Your Mamma


Saturday, May 12, 2018

A Village

It really does take a village
They told her
But then no one stayed
And no one came
To light fires
Help with the cooking
Lift up fallen hearts
Or do anything
Remotely village-like
Looked like
In addition to raising her child
She also had to raise her village


Friday, May 11, 2018

Let Down

Can't always be up
She told me once
Not always strawberries and bananas
He told me
The thing is though
I only ever knew down


Thursday, May 10, 2018


Dear Manzil,

Those few sounds
Are sounding more and more like
Sounds we make
Will that mean
You'll forget to tell stories
Like you do now?
Those animated "Ohhhs!" With your mouth
In the most perfect O
Your baby giggles
Uninhibited by the volume control
Of this world we live in
I am so excited to hear your little voice
Talking, sharing, telling stories
I just hope you don't forget these ones

Love you, always,


Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Made It

There's still a story
Even after the book ended
Even after you made it
To the very end

There's more to
more to be done
Don't stop looking
Who missed what you'll find


Tuesday, May 8, 2018


Dearest D,

Not a day has gone by
Since that day 9 years ago
That I haven't marvelled at how we got here
And who we are today
This Pinot we have built
And the mountain we are climbing
Would be so pointless and impossible
Without this bellyfull of wine

Love, hamesha,


Monday, May 7, 2018

Why Won't You?

I ask right now
After wondering all day
Maybe you know
Maybe you know as much as I do
It doesn't help though
To get closer to unknowing


Sunday, May 6, 2018


Eleven is a funny funny word
And a funny enough number too
Prime, palindrome, and even super-powered
It's even more special because of you

Eleven months ago
Our life changed some
Just a tad, you know
We became a dad and mum

Eleven months of memories
Eleven months of giggles
Watching you move with ease
And get out all your wiggles

When you stand up every day
And take those little steps
We want to get out of your way
But also cushion those tumbles and trips

Now as you prepare
To walk out into the world
Our urge to shelter, protect, and care
Just grew elevenfold

But grow you will
And grow you must
You've got dreams to dream and shoes to fill
And you do that with confidence and trust

Trust in yourself even more
When life is rocky or uneven
Can't wait to see what's in store
For you, our sweet boy of eleven


The Broken Club

Welcome to the Broken Club
We have all sorts among us
From hearts, bones, dreams, and hopes
We specialize in all things uncontinuous
Our admirable collection of brokenness
Has roots in our homes and families
We got stuck in the middle of messes
And others trying to figure out happiness
The thing about brokenness
Is that it teaches us all about the strength of glue
This is a test of whether you can survive a break
And if you really have it in you


Friday, May 4, 2018

No Breaks

The universe just keeps at it
No breaks for this heart
Even as I pick up all the little shards
Left behind


Thursday, May 3, 2018

Grateful Eyes

Even with this throbbing headache
Right behind my eyes
I am grateful for what I see
When they're open
For what they show me
And all the light that has still not reached them


Wednesday, May 2, 2018


You know there's something wrong
But you don't know how to see it
It's a far far day
When you will know to say it
For now though, you'll have to know
There's something very fishy
Even if you can't smell it


Tuesday, May 1, 2018


When all I needed was a break
You chose to break me into little pieces
So you could feel whole again