Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Builder Bar

Your strength speaks loud and clear
It tells me to remember days like today
When we are drowning in a cesspool of
To remember your strength


Monday, October 29, 2018

Let's Figure this Shit Out

When enough is truly enough
I think it's okay to take a moment
To reset
And figure this shit out


Sunday, October 28, 2018

What in the World

Do you see the pattern?
I'm these recent events
Feels like history is repeating
When will the cycle end?


Saturday, October 27, 2018

Don't You Worry

I know there will be times
When I tell you that
And you will not believe me
Not the hardest will be, my dear,
When I don't believe you


You will not be Erased

Dear M,

How was your first teach in?

Did you listen with your whole heart and body
When one after the other people came up
And told us how terrified they were of erasure?

Did you listen with your whole heart and body
How mindfully they chose their words
Knowing that they are monitored and policed all the time?

Did you notice how they asked their allies to step up
To be accomplices with our bodies
To stand in front of, behind, and besides
When push becomes shove becomes tear gas becomes bullets?

Our bodies may be so different from one another
Our voices sing and wail in every pitch possible

Our dreams though,
Our dreams bleed the same colors when they are bludgeoned

And though physics will teach you that the color white contains all colors on the spectrum
Be courageous

Challenge what you are told
For what you know to be true

That pink and blue skies are inseparable right before the day begins and ends
Just as we are all tailored with the same threads of euphoria and grief
When met with our beginnings and endings

And that white, of all colors, cannot fathom the beauty of all the shades of brown you are, without rendering you completely invisible

And you, my dear M,
Are anything but.

With powerful love,
Your Mamma


Thursday, October 25, 2018

Sad Birthday

Dear Batty,

My eyes hurt
A dried up kind of hurt
Which is odd
Because I've cried a lot for a month
So they should be moist
But like your cruel end
They are dry
And devoid of hope

Miss you,


Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Birthday Eve, Dying Day

What odd cruelty is this
Some trick the world is playing
Taking you away
Right before your got a chance to celebrate
A chance to fall in love
And be loved
To be full of dreams
Complete and forgotten
To have the future face you
And you have the luxury of staring right back
To live
A chance to live


Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Back to Where it all Started

Today, you will go back
To where you came from
Yet so far from where you began
I think of the moment you emerged
How no mother should have to say goodbye
And still, here you are
Back to where it all started



I woke up
Against my will
But maybe for you
For you
To say goodbye
One last time
Goodbye, my friend


Monday, October 22, 2018


It may seem the same
But take it from someone
Who has an advanced degree in this
It was different
Things may not change tomorrow
But when they do
Know that you lit the flame


Saturday, October 20, 2018


Hello my old friend
I don't care where you've been
I never asked you to come back
And I would much rather you go away


Baby Doll

I knew you had it in you
To delight the world with your words
And your choice from all
The words in the world
I'm glad you chose baby doll


Thursday, October 18, 2018


So there you were
Without impetus or invitation
But your time is now done


Double Trouble

When you get twice the trouble
You also get twice the joy
Cuddles and all the smiles


Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Climb On

So high
Yet treading untested waters
My little heart leaps
As you jump


Monday, October 15, 2018


Dear M,

Today, you wanted to help
And you did
Like a little kind listener
You put things away
I can't wait to see what'll come next
I know I'll be around to watch it change



No More Sweater Weather

None of it
No more
Spoiled to the core
Of my very thin skin


Saturday, October 13, 2018


You make me feel like I can put my foot on the brake
Like it's okay to take a deep breath
And take in the scenery
Like tomorrow is here
And yesterday is yet to arrive
You make me feel like I am here
And it's been one hell of a ride


Friday, October 12, 2018


Of all the things you say
And like to say
My favorite was what you said today
You told me that time
Is just like the word itself
Made out of odd letters that sometimes follow the rules and sometimes don't
It's short and done before you begin saying it
It starts so definitively
And ends silently
If it didn't have the ending it does
It would be a sad little Tim


Thursday, October 11, 2018


Old in a new kind of way
At two different points in their journeys
But still connected at all the intersections of this life


Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Something Different

Can you tell
That it feels different
The air around us smells stale
Mimicking the essential rotting if what we used to be
And the light around is fading
Crying only a hint of a distant memory of what we could be


Tuesday, October 9, 2018

Right Side

Usually you're my better side
Tattoos, holes, injuries
You've seen it all
This time though
You disappoint


Monday, October 8, 2018

Leap Frog

Are you already ready
To jump into whatever comes next?
To polish what you have learned so far
And use it to land on your next lily pad of milestones
Will you let me come with you
Or tread these waters alone?


Say Your Name

Repeat it slowly
Now normally
Like you would to a friend
Now say it like you mean it
Like you were born with it
Say it so I can colonize you
With my demands between your every syllable
And then say it in a way
It was never meant to be spoken
But the only way I will understand it
And now
Say your new home


Saturday of Snuggles

Clouds big enough to
Cover up all my flaws
Scattered throughout the grass outside
But your hold
Brings me sunshine


Friday, October 5, 2018

Just Slide

Hey you
With your little fingers curled up
In the most snug of fists
Your fist on my chest
Just below my collar bone
Your nose making the hair
On my arm tickle
Your face moist with sleepy sweat
And your little sighs
I could stay here


Thursday, October 4, 2018

Skillful Blocking

I absolutely cannot
I cannot let my brain
Or worse
My heart
Go there
I think of a world without you
And my eyes come to a crashing close
To shut it all out


Wednesday, October 3, 2018

Waltz with You

I saw you follow the beat
And capture the rhythm
With both of your hands and feet
I caught a glimpse of the shine
As you smiled in my direction
Letting me know this dance was mine


Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Timeless Giggles

Tonight I held you
And through the darkness
I could still make out your dimple
Smiling in your right cheek
And then you giggled
A full assured giggle
And I responded
With a teeny unsure one
And you forgave me
And giggled even louder


Monday, October 1, 2018


Rooting for you means
Pulling out every weed
That's coming in the way
Of you growing
To be your full self
Nothing like a little drought
To get us to love on
Our roots even more



We are all rooting
We are all cheering
We are hoping against hope
And holding on to every thread
We have every cliche on our side to ask you to
Hang in there