Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Your Loss

Even though you're a white man
You say
Don't keep reminding me that I'm white
Or a man
It's as though that's all you see
I tell him
No, but it feels like
Sometimes
You forget
That you're white
And a man
And I would love nothing more than
To never remind you
Of that

1172

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Alternating

We'll take turns
Even when it's hard to step up
Because when the night starts to fade
We're all we've got

1171

I Did It!

You know how you send to you
Make plans for things you may never do?
I made a list
And I made plans
And then I made them happen
And that feels good!

1170

Sunday, December 9, 2018

Hello, Again

It's only been a few decades
But I can sense your return
It's not that I'm happy to see you
I'm not
I'm just disappointed
I didn't see you coming

1169

Saturday, December 8, 2018

Baker

Did you enjoy baking today?
It takes a whole lotta loving
Mixing
Adding
Thinking
Measuring
Smelling
Planning
And of course
Eating

1168

Water

Dear M,

As words will roll off your tongue
And slither through the spaces in your teeth
And find their way out your fingers and hands
In flaps, claps, and gestures only we have seen
We will remember this day, as the day you said so clearly
Water

We love you,
M

1167

Thursday, December 6, 2018

One Point Five Years

If you have a Manzil encounter soon, you may notice that he is... Climbing up and down chairs, wanting to run on steps, imitating words, enamored by thunder and lightening, shouting "water" at the rain, telling us how big the moon is, able to find any fire hydrant from yards away, making fun animal sounds, watching and imitating mamma and daddy like a hawk, helping with chores/ghar ka kaam (cleaning up, watering plants, taking out pans and puts them back in, putting groceries away, cooking), taking off his shoes, trying to put on his shoes, loving his friend Lauren, painting with raw joy, relishing his BRADDA and berries, jiggying in his dance parties, eating from a big person plate and drinking from a big person glass, making pretend coffee and chai, diligently saying namaste, enjoying his friends and toys in childcare, combing his hair, borrowing our keys to try and open every door in the house, drawing, and one of our very special favorites... Sitting in our laps to read his favorite books.

1166

Wednesday, December 5, 2018

All This Rain

My most favorite memories
Will be
What we made today
Sitting inside
As we marveled at our outside
Blanket on ground
Our tushies on it
Wrapped up in sweaters and heating bags
But most importantly
Hugs

1165

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

You Got This

Somedays I need to say that more
Somedays I need to hear it more
But most days,
I really just need to know it
And that's the toughest

1164

Monday, December 3, 2018

Weaned

And so it goes
546 days later
Through all the pain
Classes
Bras
Books
Tears
Getting into the weirdest positions
The hum of the pump at night
Feeling your first teeth
Bottles
Bother cleaning routine
Throw ups (2)
Gushing (many)
Leaks
Planning
Covers
Singing
Yeh chaand sa roshan chehera
Cushions
Feeding in public
In bed
In the dark
In quiet
Through major distractions
And here we are
Weaned

My love for you though,
Waxed.

1163

Sunday, December 2, 2018

Why Do I Do That?

You ask
And I say the same thing
Each time
Because
You do
And so I feel
Like I can too

1162

Saturday, December 1, 2018

Maybe. Maybe not.

So you never wonder
I hope you know
You're the reason I may not have another
You're the one who came
But didn't show up

1161